Tuesday, December 20, 2011

When in Doubt, Blame the President

...In the words of my late mother, "I...Have...Had...ENOUGH!"

Is your home in foreclosure?  Blame President Obama.  Had my ear chewed off the other night by a guy who went through a terrible ordeal.  Funny, it wasn't Bank of America's fault - it was the President's.

Some nice folks we met are in a tizzy; $300,000 "Madden Cruiser Motorhome" license plate renewal went up a few bucks.  It's "Obama's" fault.  Why their home state holds no responsibility is a mystery.

Our dearly beloved Occupy Protesters are irked because BigAssBanks and recipients of corporate welfare are passive-aggressively ignoring them and their no-demand demands. Blame the President. He hasn't "made" them change or "ended" corporate welfare single handedly.  If they get mad enough - they're not going to vote. I fail to see how that "fixes" one damn thing.  Coming from a Congressional District that was "mad" at the Democrat...many didn't vote - and you know what happened? Joe Friggin Walsh wins by 291 votes. Yeah, not voting for POTUS is going to make Wall Street change its wicked ways. Sure it is. 

Congress can't play nice?  Pouting about working close to the holiday recess? Blame the President! Again, Dearest Congress, "Recess" is for Children. Though, you have demonstrated you are incapable of behaving as anything OTHER than children. 90% of you are on Santa's "Naughty List." 

I hope to hell we include Congress during Festivus Celebrations - as We the People have a lot to say during the "Airing of Grievances."

Hang nail? Hang Over? Hemorrhoids? Halitosis? Hernia? Hay fever? Headache? Heart Burn? Hiccups?

Blame the President!

Everybody else is! All the cool kids are!


Perhaps it is because he is not a person, but the Mirror of Erised residing in the White House.  We the People see in him what we truly, deeply want "solved" the most.  Now. Right now. Instant Message quick right now.  Never mind what you have accomplished already POTUS, what have you done about (insert your pet cause/charity/social problem here) today?!

Perhaps it's the bile spewed by the rabid, radical, reprehensible, ridiculous large animals on Talk Radio, Faux News, and the idiots who write and forward, forward, forward, forward, forward "fact-filled" chain emails  (Did you know the President is a Kangaroo AND a Vampire!  It's true!) which "convince" those with the intellectual prowess of SpongeBobSquarePants that "Obama" is to blame for everything.  

After 19 years of marriage, I have an idea.  

Perhaps some voters have moved from Honeymoon (2009) to "newly married" (2010) to "established couple" (2011) and beginning to find out their partner is not perfect. 

President Obama left the toilet seat up, didn't buy milk, forgot to take the recycling bin to the street, and ate ALL the "Schweddy Balls" hiding in the back of  the freezer.  

You, my fellow Americans, want to have a "discussion" with The President.

Some of you want to tell him, "WE need to talk." 

(Which actually means your significant other is going to TALK and you, buster, are going to LISTEN and promise to Straighten Up and Fly Right!) 

Get over it America.  He's not perfect.  He's human.  He's trying. You watched when he was sworn in and in your cynical little heart you too promised for better or for worse.  He was that "change" you wanted to believe in.  He was "the one."  

Either we stay committed - grey hair and all - to POTUS for the next 4 years or agree to a "trial separation" and date other people.

I hear Canada's kinda cute, but it's in a long-term thing with the UK - but that could be a rumor Ireland started. 

Sure as hell nobody in the GOP deserves to put his or her boots under your bed in 2012. 

I'm staying with President Obama.  He's working very hard and trying to do the right things.  In any good relationship - effort counts, a lot, so do honesty and integrity. 

If you dear reader choose to see the glass half empty vs. half full on Mr. Obama's accomplishments to date I ask you this:  Does "President Romney and Vice President Gingrich" have a nice little ring to it or notsomuch?


  1. I threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking of a Romney/Gingrich ticket.

  2. I blame Obama for this blog posting!

  3. That is some awesome prose. But watch out for Canada she'll steal your blanket in the cold of night.

  4. I like Mrs. Underpants best when she's all worked up and angsty like this.