Big Dog, W and POTUS - A Bedtime Story for Progressives

The ALEC story will continue on Friday

 Today, Please Enjoy This Original Story

Three Occupants and The Pack 

To be read aloud in librarian voice as one would to a four-year-old

...or a Tea Party member. 

Once upon a time, there was an ambitious dog pack.   In this pack, pedigree dogs, mutts, timid dogs, fierce dogs, large dogs and not-so-very-large dogs banded together.  Each dog had its own wealth and its own reason for being in The Pack.  All pack members understood one thing: together they could wield great power.  The Pack had dreams of running the “whole show” and making a LOT of money.  The Pack had illusions of grandeur.    

As the weather of the early 1990’s grew cold, The Pack looked for shelter.  The Pack recalled a house it had often visited, but the house had a new occupant.   This was not good.

The Pack learned the house’s new occupant was going to challenge their power.  This challenger, a Big Dog in his own right, saw The Pack for what it was and devised a plan.  Big Dog invited The Pack into the house - but on his terms.  The Pack had to stay on leashes.  It was not allowed on the furniture.  It was taught serious house manners.  In short order, The Pack grudgingly learned to play nice with non-pack members and other small animals.  Big Dog had rules. 

If a pack member broke these rules (or bit someone) it was fined and had to wear a muzzle.  Sometimes, if the bite was really bad, a pack member had to go to dog jail.  Soon, The Pack accepted Big Dog as leader of the “whole show.”   It began to realize Big Dog’s rules were fair and still let them make a LOT of money.

Big Dog was very smart.  He changed The Pack’s bad habits into good ones.  And do you know what happened?  Yes, good things began to happen all across the land.  The Pack stopped stealing food and learned to play ball correctly; it stopped marking territory and soiling the environment.  For the most part, it stopped biting others.  The Pack lived (somewhat) harmoniously in Big Dog’s house for eight years, even when an old newt gave Big Dog heartburn.  For many years there was prosperity.  The land had a surplus of money!  One day, Big Dog went away.  The Pack knew things were going to change.  The Pack was very happy.

In 2001, a new occupant entered the house.  The Pack recognized him at once and called him Our Own.  He liked it when The Pack ran things.  Our Own could take many, many vacations and let The Pack do his work.   Our Own did not mind if The Pack marked its territory, stole food, ran away instead of playing ball, chewed the furniture or bit reporters. 

Our Own had a Friend who gave The Pack cookies for behaving badly, soiling the environment, and hurting people.   Friend protected The Pack and made special new rules for them.  The Pack expected this.  Not long before, Friend had been a pack member and Friend owed them.  The Pack reminded Friend that Florida had been expensive.  The Pack grew bold.

The Pack began enforcing its will by snapping at non-pack members and small animals.  Instead of asking The Pack to follow rules, Friend and Our Own appeared on television and said nice things about The Pack’s bad behavior.  It was finally running the “whole show" and making a LOT of money.  The Pack howled with joy! 

But all was not well in the land;  non-pack members and small animals suffered greatly.  Our Own and Friend did not notice.  They allowed The Pack do as it pleased.  This lasted eight long years.  Some citizens of the land say it continues to this day.  Others disagree.  Not long ago something did change.  This change made The Pack very, very angry.

Our Own and Friend left the The Pack's house.  Friend warned The Pack the next occupant - New Guy - wasn’t like the others who lived in the house.   Some pack members listened very closely and heard what only certain someones can hear, “He’s different.”  Friend told The Pack that New Guy didn’t even like dogs and would not play ball with them.  Friend told The Pack he would lurk in the shadows nearby and assist them.  Friend asked the large animals on Talk Radio to help, too.

The Pack needed a new plan.  Emboldened by the spin off T-Pack, (a silly, ignorant group who listens to the large animals on Talk Radio) The Pack chose to leave New Guy’s house and camp nearby.   New Guy wasn’t afraid of The Pack, Friend, Our Own or the large animals on Talk Radio.   He reached out to The Pack and offered a new way forward.   The Pack ignored New Guy.

New Guy believed The Pack was reasonable; he appealed to their better angels.  The Pack refused.  It would not return to a time of house manners, sharing food, and playing well with others.  The Pack wanted to soil the environment and scare small animals.  It felt invincible! And do you know why?  Because Pack members had lavishly contributed to New Guy’s opponents and they owed The Pack big time. 

The Pack directed these opponents to block anything - anything New Guy proposed.  The spin-off T-Pack and others like Orange John and Mighty Mitch (who owed The Pack a few favors for its generosity) jumped at the chance.  The Pack didn’t need them to think or analyze facts; they didn’t need much.  The Pack Lackeys were told to repeat just one word – No.  

                                     

The Pack, you see, had become accustomed to getting its own way.  The Pack had made a LOT of money.  The Pack wanted to make MORE money, no matter what.  It ignored the suffering of non-pack members and small animals.  It reacted badly – very badly - growling and snapping when New Guy brought this to their attention and demanded The Pack change its ways.  The Pack was too feral and too strong. They would not change, they did not believe in change.  The Pack had a problem. 

New Guy was smart - very smart.  The last time someone smart lived in the house, it had to follow rules.  New Guy (again) tried to talk with The Pack and offered it treats – BIG treats.  But The Pack laughed, it called New Guy names and bit his hand.  The spin-off T-Pack followed suit and was even more vicious.  Do you know what happened?  You’re right!  New Guy reached out his bitten hand.  The Pack, unaccustomed to such generosity, didn't know what to do.  They would never behave this way.  The Pack needed to think.  It went on retreat with Alec.

The Pack decided its “No” plan would kick into high gear.  The Pack would pretend New Guy didn’t exist and blame him for everything.  The Pack decided New Guy was not going to live in the house for 8 years.  The Pack and the spin-off T-Pack decided this would be their TOP priority.  They did not care about non-pack members, out of work small animals or citizens of the land.  They would play ball with New Guy ONLY when they needed something.   But The Pack needed more help.

Luckily, the large animals on Talk Radio were happy to help.  One large helper animal on Talk Radio got in trouble.  His listeners threatened to stop buying things from pack members if The Pack continued to sponsor the show.  The Pack members decided one less large animal on Talk Radio was OK.  After all, The Pack's real goal is to make a LOT of money.  The Pack and its supporters congratulated themselves. The strategy seemed to be working!  New Guy would soon leave the house!  The Pack was very happy.

But The Pack, the T-Pack and the large animals on Talk Radio were wrong - very wrong.  They seriously underestimated non-pack members and other small animals.   These non-pack members, small animals and citizens of the land had worked very hard to get New Guy into the house and kick The Pack out. They understood what The Pack was doing.  They supported New Guy, they liked his ideas for change.

Sadly, these same citizens understood New Guy would lose some battles; The Pack was still very, very powerful. (and many small animals had forgotten how to think for themselves)  Today, many non-pack members, small animals and citizens of the land are willing to fight against The Pack.  They believe New Guy at his worst is still better than Our Own and Friend at their best.  

There are many more non-pack members and small animals than pack members and large animals on Talk Radio.  Big Dog, even though he doesn’t live in the house anymore still fights for the citizens of the land and tries to keep The Pack in line.  New Guy is not alone. 

In this land, The Pack will no longer be allowed to run the “whole show” or pretend they do.  Citizens are working very hard to keep New Guy in the house and The Pack’s choice (who is also Friend’s choice) out of the house.  

And do you know why?  It is because citizens of this land are tired of The Pack biting people, soiling the environment, behaving badly, breaking rules, and making a LOT of money.  It is because non-pack members, small animals and citizens of the land believe that hope is more powerful than fear.  If you listen very carefully, you can still hear them cheering for New Guy, even it if is just a faint echo… “Yes We Can.”