Ricky’s Legend Quest
In keeping with his “Me First, Country Later, Obama Never” campaign theme, Governor Goodhair chose to further complicate International Relations by slamming The President’s position and record on Israel. Of course, he chose to time his crayon-on-paper pre-scribbled remarks to coincide with said relevant meetings at the United Nations, which the Ken Doll wants to secede from anyway.
Ricky, the whole Middle East Peace thing is a little over your skis. Please allow the adults in the room sort this one out. Your visits to Israel
My suspicion is that The Hair’s foreign policy is going to be nicknamed “Ricky’s Rapture Recon.” In my well reasoned, insightful, and entirely made up research on The Rapture, it seems there is an Indiana Jones scavenger hunt that “needs getting’ done” in order for said Rapture to occur.
As it is a quest – Ricky may well encounter some “difficulty” along the way. Here is a little insight into the "strategery" of what may need to be completed before the “Rapture Accomplished” banner can fly:
Send CIA Operatives to incite “Tartan Spring” resulting in Scottish independence and acquisition of the Stone of Scone. (i.e. the Stone of Destiny for you non-history buffs)
Challenge: MI-5, MI-6, and that damn Ashley Cowie – Nicholas Cage being unavailable for another “All Roads Lead to Scotland
Dispatch Glenn Hubbard to meet with the Lady of the Lake and negotiate for Excalibur.
Challenge: Americans believe strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government.
Mrs. Perry, via private jet, and after a lovely tax-payer funded holiday, will endeavor to sniff out another Crystal Skull. Anita, it seems, is a real “gem” in sniffing out expensive semi-precious baubles.
Challenge: Convince Mrs. GoodHair that the whole “Skull of Doom” chasing thing will not ruin her hair or manicure. Consider implying Harrison Ford in “on board” and will join her.
…And Now for Something Completely Different
The Holy Land
Follow Star, seek out “Brian” and determine whether he and the Judean People’s Front are willing to play ball. Infiltrate the blessed cheese makers, and other manufacturers of dairy products to keep the JPF in line.
Challenge: Intel reports that Brian is not the messiah, just a very naughty boy.
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
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