Republicans Believe...

Republicans believe your privately held uterus must be highly regulated; but...your privately held corporation  must not be

Republicans believe pills related to s-e-x for girls are bad, but… little blue pills for boys are very, very good!

Republicans believe Corporations are citizens; but…actual people must first show photo ID

Republicans believe the individual health care mandate infringes on individual freedom; but …it was their idea

Republicans believe privatizing parts of NASA is akin to high treason; but… it was the first thing in history the GOP didn’t want to privatize

Republicans believe the Bush Doctrine is valid; but… cannot articulate what it actually is

Republicans believe President Obama is a Socialist; but…cannot use the term correctly in a sentence

Republicans believe in a literal interpretation of the Constitution; but…most obtain their actual knowledge of the Constitution from “School House Rock”

Republicans believe in school choice; but… not a curriculum choice for science teachers who insist on teaching only actual science

Republicans believe in Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Happiness; but…only if you are white, male, Christian, born here, Republican, without debt, and working on Wall Street

Republicans believe in fundamental fairness; but...only in theory

Republicans believe the Almighty “called” Rick Perry & Michelle Bachmann to run for President, and told Glenn Beck to leave Fox; but…at this point they are wondering if it was the same guy or if Keith Olbermann punk’d them