Corporate Speak, Progressive Speak, Evangelical Speak, Couple Speak. We have all developed second "languages" understood in context. After 20 years of marriage, The Underpants' typical conversation is something like this:
Him: "Fat girl still itchy?"
Him: "Fat girl still itchy?"
Her: "Nah, put a pretty on her, she's bad again."
Translation: Is Penny recovering after her run in with chiggers? Yes! She had a bath, has a new collar and is "talking."
(See below for illustration)
And now for something completely different...
As a (gag gift) subscriber to the WSJ, it appears the journalists at "Camp Rupert
WSJ: "Banks: Confusion Still Reigns on Volcker Rule"
Translation: We haven't figured a way around it yet.
WSJ: "How to Play the Bond Market Now"
Translation: Ha Ha Sucker! BigBanks already invested AND hedged their bets, but they need to make a lot of money on YOUR money - put money into this market. Now. Right now.
WSJ: "Judge Puts Firms on Notice"
Translation: DOJ and SEC are actively investigating; Shred = ClubFed; see also Careerbuilder.com
WJS: "Unions Confront Rising Tide"
Translation: Caterpillar CEO called WSJ to request Pro-Cat/anti-union article
WSJ: "The New Greek Extremism"
Translation: Shit! People are pissed about austerity and holding the EU accountable for Draconian tactics; EU Countries might impose progressive tax rates! Runaway! Angela where are you??
WSJ: "Socialist France
Translation: See Above
WSJ: "Buffett Looking Out of Step"
Translation: F you, Warren and your little Bershire dog too. Traitor. (Tomorrow's Headline: "Flying Monkey Observed over Omaha ")
WSJ: "A Meaningful Measure of Pay Gap for Men and Women"
Translation: Nothing to see here. No War on Women. Keep Calm and Carry On. Romeny 2012
WSJ: "Obama..."
Translation: Romney 2012
WSJ: "Market..."
Translation: Romney 2012
WSJ: "What's Holding Women Back?"
Translation: Romney 2012
WSJ: "FDA/EPA/SEC/DOJ/SCOTUS/et al..."
Translation: Romney 2012
Businesses have a gazillion dollars sitting on the sideline waiting to invest and create more jobs in America.
ReplyDeleteTranslation: Blame it on Obama because people are stupid enough to believe this lie. Plus we can't let consumers know we are scared shitless about the global economy.