Shrub Lite to the Right

"I Believe" - Rick Perry Style

Rick Perry - or as a nod to Molly – “Shrub Lite” is the poster child for everything we on the left believe is terribly, horribly, no-goodly misguided about the radical right.

The Blue Collar Comedy Tour showcases Bill, Larry, Ron & Jeff taking turns finishing the “I Believe…” sentence.  (Ok, some are pretty damn funny – “I believe that if you want to wear a thong, I think you should have to go through an application process.”)  So what does Ricky believe?

Capital Punishment (To quote Ron White – an “express lane”)

Creationist (g-d placed “fossil fuel” in the earth for our use – no such thing as dinosaurs, dinosaur bones are there to test our young earth faith)

Global Climate Change is not a result of “us” (g-d is angry, this is a natural thing)

Love ‘him some Guns & Ammo (To quote Shrub Lite Direct – “If you don’t believe in guns and capital punishment – don’t move to Texas.”)

Fundamentalist, No Jeffersonian “Wall” (Remember “Prayerapalooza?”)

“State’s Rights” Guy (Governor Secession, at your service)

Anti-Choice (Pro-life, until of course, children are born…)

Anti-Immigration (Big ol’ wall y’all)

Anti-Union (Governor minimum-wage, Don’t-Piss-Off-The-Koch-Boys)

Anti-Regulation (Hell, end it all - End Times are Near - Do what you want to the planet)

Pro-Business (Regulation means no jobs!)

Anti-Tax (Taxes mean no jobs…and no campaign funds!)

Anti-Poor; Anti-Safety Net (Texas is in the bottom quartile on nearly all related data points)

Anti-Healthcare (Just don’t get sick)

Anti-Intellectual & Anti-Education (Martha’s Vineyard is where now?)

Immutable (g-d said it, I believe it, end of discussin’ it)

Perry also has that “W” quality about him.  He displays the same swagger, same smirk, and same talking points.  He, too, would tell those who endeavor to do us harm “Bring it On.”  He, too, would call himself “The Decider” and due to his intellectual prowess, he, too, would need a VP who actually runs the country.  Be afraid, be very afraid.  Hell, Ricky just might be Sarah Palin with a few more years in a Governor’s Mansion. 

What do “they” see in him?  In Conservatives without Conscience John Dean gave We the People the playbook on these folks.  The Radical Right loves Shrub Lite because he makes difficult concepts and serious issues appear “easy” to fix.  He does not require them to think too much.  Just believe.  Ricky’s world is one of absolutes.  There is no grey area; pro or con, with or against, us or them.  There is no room for reasonable people to disagree; there is no quarter given for “other” ideas and compromise.   Discussion and compromise require a full grasp of ideas, and facts.  Facts do not get in Ricky’s way.

The Far Right likes Ricky because he has all the answers, he will “take care of” them.  He looks like them and sounds like them.  He uses words and phrases they are comfortable with.   Shrub Lite does not require his supporters to have “deep thoughts.” 

We on the left are looking for Perry support and poll numbers to drop off after GOPhers review his record, maybe read his book.  This is not going to happen.  These are not people who “question” their leaders; if they do they are removed from the herd.  (It is still being determined whether they read...)  People like Shrub Lite and all the Neo-Cons who came before him fit the messiah figure of the Authoritarian Leader – Machiavelli’s Prince.  The message is clear - do not question, simply follow.  In "difficult times" this is very appealing to the masses.  History has taught us this lesson a few times.  The outcome is never "good."

The great irony is that this type of leader, this type of ideology, is exactly what our Founders, who Shrub Lite claims to nearly worship, revolted against.  Our Nation was founded on an idea.  The idea was simple – together, enlightened individuals through reason and compromise, with the common good of its citizenry the foremost concern, can lead a Nation better than one man – or a few powerful men.  

Dammit Ricky - know your history!  The American Revolution was not about tax on tea.  Turn off School House Rock and pay attention.

We best go back and look at Ricky’s grades in American History and Government – somehow he missed that day of class.  He needs to be schooled.  We the People cannot sit idly by while Shrub Lite, Karl, Darth, Grover and all the other Neo-Con Muppets gain power again.  We the People better get off the couch and work in earnest for "4 More Years."