Thursday, March 22, 2012

Citizens United Uniting Citizens

Annoyed Citizens United

By happy accident, Citizens United has united citizens. We the People believe there are too many political ads!  No! Really? Shocking! 

Like a (formerly) favorite on-line merchant whose too-frequent emails begin as irksome and quickly progress to the “spam folder” so, too, the Super PACs have officially annoyed the voting public. Thus far, GOP voters are turning out in record low numbers and polls suggest they are disengaging from the process. 

Thanks to Citizens, unlimited spending on seemingly limitless ads has produced the exact opposite result of what the men behind the curtain and in the long black robes told us it would.   

Hey! SuperPACs! You are the rich but socially awkward teen with the Bitchin’ Camaro who still can’t get a date for the prom.  

Did the Koch Boys and the other robber barons consider this?   Tell pray, where was Turdblossom’s warning scold on FoxNews? 

Personally, I’m having a hard time wiping the smirk off my face.  Guess you folks in the GOP SuperPAC brain trust didn’t bother to conduct actual research or read the WSJ article which spoke to just this: Savvy marketers are cutting BACK on the frequency of communication with their “fans.” Indeed, data supports the quaint notion that more is not always better.

(I do wish the hippy dippy pinko commie liberal non-profits whose email lists I am on would peruse said article; for the record, I do not need an URGENT! message every 30 minutes. Thank you.) 

An unintended consequence of Citizens: After being barraged by constant and predominantly negative ads, GOP voters like their choices less.  Of course, few are surprised to learn Republicans don’t like…choice.

Perhaps there are lessons in Citizens A nice Ms. Underpants would assert to Team Birther et al “Be careful what you wish for.” A nice Ms. Underpants would remind Team Obama: “Less is More.”

A snarky, smirking Ms. Underpants asserts the actual lesson in the blood sport of election year politics and other forms of legalized prostitution is this: While money can buy you a happy ending, money can't buy you love.

Or an election.

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